Hi…I am Modiehi Mokoena and I am a recovering blog avoider…
So, the last few months have been pretty ordinary. They have
been filled with nothing but simple student living; I go to varsity, come home,
go out partying, disregard my studies,
do nothing extraordinary…repeat.
This could possibly be the reason why I have avoided writing
to you all. I have thought that my simple life has become too ordinary to share
with you…
Earlier this week, I attended a leadership training
presented by the University of the Free State’s Dean of Student affairs- Rudi
Buys on the topic of clarity of purpose, since then, the words “Clarity…Simplicity…Purpose…Perspective…Mindfulness…
Patterns…” have echoed themselves consistently in my mind.
Living a simple life would, to most people, bring a sense of
clarity to their lives. I, on the other hand, believe that my simple life has
led to me losing my sense of purpose.
In reality, simplicity is actually not as clear as we
believe. Things are not as black and white
as we would like them to be and grey matter will always linger in our sub
consciousness- we just choose to ignore it.
I have chosen to ignore the fact that; I may not be as happy
(as I believe) with my choice of studying law or that I am miserable at my
place of stay or that I actually do not enjoy going out partying as much as I
used to or (more worryingly) that I have lost my sense of purpose and self.
Society has a funny way of fooling people in
to believing
that there is a common level of self-purpose. It has shaped how people should
view their lives purposeful based on certain requirements. As a young woman- if
you do not seek to be educated and successful, you lack motivation, inspiration
and therefore you lack purpose. One cannot simply say that one’s aspirational
purpose is to be a woman working at a clothing store because that, according to
society, would be insignificant. 
I have fooled myself into believing that being in varsity
and merely living my life is purposeful enough in this world. I have lost my
self-concept and have allowed my relational and collective self to depict my ideal
self-purpose. I have lost true perspective of what I truly want from my life
and how I plan on getting it. I have lost a sense of presence in my decision
making and choices.
That leadership training has surprisingly awakened me. It
has made me mindful of my everyday surroundings and decisions, has made me conscious
of my daily patterns of choices, actions and thoughts and has reminded me that
a shift in perspective will, bring with it, a shift in purpose.
It has showed me that lack of action and remaining in my
comfort zone will not simplify my life but rather complicate my sense of
purpose and with it my life.
I hope that you will not see this post as cry for help but
rather as a reminder to constantly evaluate your self-purpose and greater purpose
in society.
Be reminded that- without purpose, you will find yourselves unhappy
more than you do content.
