Unbridgeable gap of content

Whenever I am at varsity, home has always been a place that I longed for throughout the semester ….this holiday though, being home seemed somewhat different.

It was still the same home – filled with all my favourite things- love, laughter, great food, unforgettable times, exceptional friends and the warmth of family. The only thing difference being, how I felt about being home.

My dilemma: When I am at university, I am always missing out the special moments that my friends and family back home are constantly making without me and for the first time, while home, I had this strange feeling of longing to be back in Bloemfontein, back to what seems to be my “new” life, back to what I have come to know and love, back to my other family of friends.

This made me ponder on the idea that in life, you shall never be fully content. It’s as though, what had always previously fulfilled you, will one day leave you longing for something else.

It is frightening to think that we are constantly faced with making life long decisions such as the choice to marry and who to marry or the inevitable choice of a career only to realize that at the moment that you made that decision, you were content but in a year, month or days’ time you find yourself far from content, seeking something more.

Are we, as human beings, engineered to constantly seek something greater than what we have?

In Katy Perry’s song, “Thinking of you” she sings: “How can I get better, once I’ve had the best?”...I think we fail to realize that sometimes the moment/ time in your life that you may be experiencing is the best and that you could possibly be missing out it because you are chasing something that you believe could be better!

Is there an unbridgeable gap between being content with what you have and the idea of finding content in something else? Are you disregarding the value of what currently makes you happy by seeking an unguaranteed greater happiness? It is unguaranteed because you do not yet know that by accomplishing or getting that thing, will truly make you happy.

In my situation, am I disregarding the happy time spent with my friends and family back home by seeking to be in Bloemfontein, having an unguaranteed time of happiness?

Instead of drowning myself  in the fact that I am constantly missing out on something great, whether at home or in Bloemfontein, I should  live fully present – wherever I am and with whoever I am with.

It is easier said than done, but I think until we can be fulfilled by what we have, we will never be fully content.

But this made me think- where do we draw the line between positive/ambitious thinking and a lack of content for what we have. Many would think that a rich man, seeking to be richer is rather selfish and lacks content in what he has but is he truly content if his heart seeks more riches?

Are we filling our lives with things that society has told us will make us happy instead of truly soul searching to find what makes us happy? Are we shoving the idea of happiness into a box marked “Standard” for every being to accumulate?

I challenge everyone, including myself, to throw this box away! Search for what makes you truly content and then…live it and love it! Do not ponder on what you do not have; do not long for what is not presently there in front of you because you will forever be searching for content in a maze of unhappiness.