Flashback Moments

Sitting here, packing for my two month holiday...I cannot help but reflect on all that has happened in my first semester away from home, at university.

Mixed emotions as I think back about the alpha of my journey, here in Bloemfontein, remembering how I found myself unhappier than I did content.

I loathed my parents for sending me away from all that made me happy- my friends, my family and of course Neighbourgoods Market!

I was certain that this experience would not be a metamorphosis but would merely be change…change that I did not seek or want.

But, as a primitive being, I had the basic instinct of survival. I soldiered on each and every day holding onto any grasp of happiness that I could find. I had to find content in all my sadness.

Lucky for me I had an army behind me….

I was blessed with family away from home. My cousins- Tumi, Neli and Lebo made what seemed to be the end of the world, a rather less dull and miserable place. I also met some really lovely friends... it seems that having exactly 5 friends does not deem me a social butterfly… but it is a start right??

The funny thing about home-sickness is the fact that it never goes away! It is a like an unexplained cough that will return unexpectedly at any given time! So the best cure for it (as I later found out) is keeping oneself busy…and so I did.

Friday nights, to most students, are nights filled with friends, fun and laughter but to me- Friday was a night spent "Skyping" with friends back home or stalking Facebook profiles longing to be part of those Jozi/Pretoria-fun-filled nights…I became the sad, miserable girl who lives on the fourth floor. So I made the conscious decision to go out there and do something!

So therefore to keep me busy, I (Firstly) volunteered to do community service (with help of Kovsgem- Imperium). Although I am still fairly new, this has allowed me to meet other people who like to help others, just as I do -the best decision that I have taken all year long. I realized that although I missed home, I was lucky enough to have a home to miss. I was able to, every Friday,  bring some happiness to people who have more reasons to be unhappy than I do.

Secondly, I drowned all home-sickness thoughts with the great music and radio personalities of 5FM.  I was not a big fan of listening to the radio until I realized how boring life without DSTV is! I became a regular listener to, my now favourite, Gareth Cliff’s and Roger Goode’s show … actually I became a regular listener to all the 5FM shows from Rob Forbes to DJ Fresh. This brought about my new found love of Radio!! So I started listening to Kovsie FM too… I figured even the little dog deserved a listen once in awhile and to my surprise- I loved that too!!

So my days were therefore filled with school, radio and more school and radio…till one day I found myself auditioning for Kovsie FM and later that month- meeting Gareth Cliff…Was the universe telling me something? 

Well I am proud to say that I have now officially broken my on-air (radio) virginity! I have been lucky enough to temporarily, for the past 2 weeks, read the news and co-host on Kovsie FM! I am excited and optimistic about what the next couple of months will bring!

                 

Thirdly, I immersed myself in all that is Kovsie and the University of the Free State… I attended campus activities that resulted in me meeting the very handsome model- Stevel Marc!

I also had the opportunity to see Black Coffee and Ralph Gum- Live…guess I was not missing out on so much after all …suck on that Joburg!

Lastly, I optimized my luck! I looked for the golden four leaf clover everywhere that I went. I entered each any every competition that I found…It’s amazing how many hours you can spend entering competitions online thanks to Facebook and Twitter, how can you possible miss home when all you can think about is winning. With that said, I adapted the slogan “A day without entering a competition is a day wasted…” This resulted with me finding luck at every corner that I turned...the results were as follows-

                                                       

I have won a Wimpy Voucher!

                                I won tickets to see Ralph Gum perform live!

I won R1000! For #Finding my spark, thanks to Chevrolet!

And lastly, my friend (Jade) and I have won a make-up lesson, a photo-shoot and are finalists to win a trip to New York to meet Bobbi Brown thanks to Bobbi Brown South Africa!

It is evident that my  first semester at university has been quite the roller-coaster ride of emotions! 

Although I have missed out on many things back home,  I have been blessed with great opportunities, lucky moments and many memories worth cherishing here in Bloemfontein...I have chosen to take this daunting and unwanted experience and convert it into a fun-filled, exciting journey of self-discovery and growth! 

I have decided to embrace my life and the miraculous power of God's way. I have optimized the use of the human mind and perception so that I can perceive the change in my life in the way that I want and seek. I have declared the change in my life as metamorphic...and not just merely change because if I remain happy with average, insignificant change...I will remain unhappily content.

I hope that you may all see past the darkness and unhappiness in your lives to find all the beautiful things that will leave you content...just as I am learning to do the same.

''God Could Not Be Everywhere...''

On Friday the 17-06-2013, moments before I was going to publish this post I found out that my beautiful, loving grandmother (whom I was named after) had passed on. I struggled with the decision on whether or not I should  still publish this post about my mother and Mother's day when my father had just lost his mother...

I thought, long and hard, about it and decided that instead of honouring death I should honour life. Therefore  I then made the decision to publish this post with respect ,not only to my mother but to all the mothers out there including my Ngono (grandmother) whom I am already missing and saddened by her death. 

Rest In Peace Ngono, you are always in my heart..

I pray that God will bless my entire family, especially my father, my aunts and uncles through this difficult time...I wish that I was with you all...but am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Let us celebrate the life that my Ngono lived while celebrating the lives and strength of all mother's - all of whom are still alive or have sadly passed on.

12-06-2013…

This year has been one of many first...and the one “first” I dreaded the most was spending the first Mother’s Day of my whole existence away from home and away from my mother.

My mother and I have not had the best relationship throughout the years which is not hard to believe as two strong, very opinionated women are bound to bump heads once too often…we disagree on a lot of things and see the world very differently…but funny enough we are very similar in different ways. And I have therefore learnt a lot of things from her.

My mother has taught me the importance of self-reliance and independence; she has showed me that in life you need to find strength within yourself. You need to be your own best friend first…In loneliness, I am often reminded of her words “In life, you were born alone and you will most probably die alone”- meaning that you need to realize you are one being that needs to find comfort in yourself in all that you do especially when required to do it alone.

She has driven the value of an education into my life. My mother has been the biggest supporter and cheerleader when it came to my academic achievement. She always encouraged me to perform at my best whether at school or university…She would go the extra mile to help me achieve my goals -no matter the cost, even if it meant she would go without something. Her belief in the value of an education is the reason that my siblings and I have been fortunate enough to attend great schools and varsities.

My mama has been one of the reasons that I am a lover of words and writing. From a young age, she would often challenge me at Scrabble- letting me beat her once in a while I might add…She encouraged me to be open to learning and reading things that I never had before.

She showed me, through her actions, how important it is to give! Whether it is to those less fortunate or to those that she loves…often I feel she gives too much and leaves too little for herself.






My mother has also allowed me to find myself and the person that I choose to be…although it has not come with much silence from her, she has always allowed me to try things out and fail/ succeed in order to learn from them.

She has taught me the importance of faith and prayer- without forcing it upon me. My mother has often told me that faith and God has blessed her throughout her life and that she wishes we could all share in this wonderful gift of faith…

I have only mentioned a few of the many things that my mama has taught me and blessed me with…I just pray that God may bless her with all her deepest of wishes and hopes. I pray that she may find comfort in the fact that I might not always agree with her but I continue to love her none the less.

I hope that all of you may find content in the relationships that you have with your mothers, realizing that she is her own person before she is a mother to you. May you find forgiveness for all the times she has failed you while proclaiming with joy the times that she has been a blessing in your life…

They say that-''God could not be everywhere...that is why he gave us mothers..'' therefore may we all find the strength to make everyday a Happy Mother’s Day for all the mothers and mother-figures in our lives.